Echoes of the Midnight Desert
by fandm-writer
Summary: Rey had adopted a routine. Every night she would climb into bed and curl up beneath the too-thin blankets. She would bury her nose in the fabric of his old shirt and close her eyes, trying to will him to be there with her. She would stay that way until she fell asleep, every morning opening her eyes with the hope that she would see him looking back at her.


**Hi all! So this is my first ever Reylo fic and my first time ever writing anything for the Star Wars fandom. This was mostly born of me trying to work through my feelings about TROS. It's set for the most part in-canon, except with maybe a few small divergences. I apologize in advance for any inconsistencies there might be in reference to the extra-canon materials that I drew off of.**

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If Rey was being perfectly honest, she didn't know why she was there.

The air around her was thick and heavy, the twin suns leaving her skin burned and her lips chapped in a way even the harshest regions of Jakku never had. The days were a sweltering heat, and the nights an abysmal cold. It was simultaneously everything she had ever known, and everything she had grown to hate. Yet, she still slipped back into her old habits as one might a tattered glove, worn simply because you can't find anything better.

Every day she would take up her staff and step out into the bone-dry sand, her face covered and her eyes shielded from the suns' harsh rays. She would wander and search, sliding down dunes on an old piece of garbage she had scavenged. Only this time she was not searching for old spare parts, nor for wires or circuits or power converters; she was searching for answers. Answers as to why the Force had seemed to beckon her to that place, despite the fact she had never before set foot on the planet.

At first, she had thought maybe it was Leia or Luke, pushing her to give herself and them some kind of closure. That was why she had buried the sabers; for Leia, for Ben, and for herself. The Force had denied her even a body to bury, so it was the best that she could do. She had thought it would bring her some form of catharsis, perhaps help the grieving process along.

It hadn't. She felt more alone and empty than ever, the strange tug of the Force increasing tenfold. There was something else there, something hidden beneath the ancient and barren sands. _There had to be_. There had to be something besides death and tragedy and ghosts.

_Ghosts_. So many ghosts. More ghosts than she could count, yet not a single one she truly longed to see. There was a ghost, one that she did want to see, but he had yet to make an appearance and for the life of her she could not figure out why. She had tried, she had searched and reached out, but had received no reply. It unsettled her and made her feel hollow in a way she never quite had before.

The more she tried to seek it out, the more she began to realize just how much of a presence her and Ben's connection had been in her life. It had been dormant, untapped, and unknown, but it had always been there, alive and pulsing and _binding_. But now, for the first time in her life, Rey was forced to live without it.

The nights were the worst, she had found. Even the coldest and loneliest nights on Jakku was nothing compared to the ones on Tatooine. Even back then there had always been an echo, a wisp, a tug of an invisible thread that whispered, _I am here and you are not alone_.

The tug was still there, but now there was only void in its place. A part of her was gone, severed at the joint like a limb detached by a lightsaber. She wondered if she would ever feel whole again, if the ache would ever dull.

Those were the thoughts that bombarded the mind of Rey of Jakku as she laid on a rickety bed in an empty hut, her small frame engulfed in a shirt that was entirely too big for her. The garment itself was not old, yet it was already so worn and tattered, forever marred from the battles it had seen.

The first time Rey had put it on, it had still smelled faintly of _him_. It had jarred her so badly that it brought tears to her eyes and sobs to her throat. She had simply sunk down to the floor in the quiet of the Millennium Falcon and curled in on herself. She had cried, cried for the first time since the final battle and had kept crying, shedding more tears than she had thought possible.

Then eventually, she began to slowly calm, the sharp pain in her chest settling into a dull throb. It was then that she found herself taking solace in the small piece of him she still had left. She took comfort in the soft threads and the warmth and the scent. Every night she would climb into bed and curl up beneath the too-thin blankets. She would bury her nose in the fabric and close her eyes, trying to will him to be there with her. She would stay that way until she fell asleep, every morning opening her eyes with the hope that she would see him looking back at her. He would smile the way he had that day in the throne room, his eyes warm and his hands gently brushing through her hair. He would be there and _alive_ and with her.

It never worked and eventually, the scent began to fade, but that didn't keep her from trying. She closed her eyes that night and began the same routine. She focused and breathed, an image of his face, every line, every crease, forever imprinted in her mind. And then, just as always, she felt herself begin to drift, her mind slipping into the inky black aether of sleep.

It was then she felt it, for the first time since he vanished she felt it; the presence, the thread, the bond.

_Ben. _

Rey's eyes flew open and she sat straight up, frantically searching the room. At first, she didn't see anything, only the empty stillness of the hut. Then, as her sleep-touched eyes began to adjust, she saw it; a shadow of movement by the door, the edge of a shoulder as it disappeared from view.

She threw the covers off in an instant and raced outside, bare feet sinking into the sand.

"Ben!" She called out to the night as she spun and looked in all directions, seeing no sign of him.

"BEN!" The yell ripped through her throat with a desperate kind of ferocity, echoing across the empty landscape.

The silent winds of the midnight desert was the only reply she received.

"_Ben_," this time it was a whisper, a broken, barely audible whisper.

She kept repeating his name, even as her knees hit the ground and her hands sunk into the dried earth. Even as the tears began to flow once more, and she pressed her forehead into the dirt. Slowly, her voice broke into a million little pieces and trailed off, giving way to sobs.

It was then that she felt something. It was nothing more than a memory brought to the surface of her mind, but at that moment it was almost tangible, almost solid. It was the feeling of a hand resting against the back of her neck. The same way it had when he had been holding her that day and she had moved forward in one fell swoop and pressed her lips to his.

It was grounding and reassuring and almost felt real. Quickly, she looked back up, her eyes landing on him. He was there right next to her, kneeling at her side with a sad look in his brown eyes.

"You're here," the words broke through, carrying more hope and happiness than she had ever felt before.

Desperately, she reached to touch the side of his face, only for her hand to pass right through. His features shifted to that of apologetic. Shocked, she sprang to her feet and he followed, rising to his full height in front of her.

It was then that the full realization of his appearance began to dawn on her. He did not look like Luke and Leia, or any of the countless force-ghosts she had seen. He was not luminous, he did not glow, and he certainly did not look at peace. He still looked the same as he had when he vanished, right down to the small cuts and bruises that arrayed his face.

"You're not—" she began, her voice quiet yet somehow still frantic.

"—one with the Force," he shook his head solemnly. "No."

"But why not? I don't understand. You vanished. You..." she trailed off, mind trying to make sense of the whole thing.

He didn't reply for a moment, and the look he wore told her it was something he didn't want to say at all. Which was strange for him, because he had always been quick to lay out plainly even the worst of revelations.

"Ben," she prompted, her use of his name seeming to make something crumble in his resolve.

"It's the bond," he blurted even before she had finished uttering the syllables.

She was surprised by his words, and all he could do was let his gaze drift to the ground between them.

"It's the bond," he repeated, lower this time. "The connection. We're a dyad; two that are one. Our link to the Force was created together, and together is the only way we can become one with it."

"So you're stuck?" She inquired, brow furrowed deeply.

"More or less. In a world between worlds," he answered softly.

"I'm going to find you," she stated with an intense amount of resolve.

"No," he quickly contradicted, his eyes snapping back up to meet hers.

"I am," she argued.

"Rey," he reached up as if to touch her, her face, her shoulder, her hair, only to stop short, realizing it was pointless. His hand lingered for a moment, mere inches from her, before he let it drop back down to his side.

"Listen to me," he continued, voice sounding like a quiet echo through a canyon. "You have to move on, you have to live. That's why I've been keeping my distance. You have to let me go."

Rey only shook her head, her determination increasing with every word, every beat, every moment. "No, there has to be something else. The Force, it called me here."

"It was the bond, Rey. It wants to be whole again, but you have to fight it. It called you here because the Force is strong and there are gateways to the world between. But it is dangerous and confusing and not meant for the living.

It won't be easy, but you have to ignore it, you have to shut it out."

"No, I'm not doing that, I'm not ever doing that."

He opened his mouth to argue some more but was quickly cut off by a ripple that seemed to reverberate through him. Then he began to grow faint, like static over a hologram.

"You're fading," she quickly stepped closer, reaching out as if she could make him stay.

"It's not easy to project here," he informed, his voice distant. "I can only do it for so long."

"I'm going to find you," she promised with the intensity of a thousand Tatooine suns.

"Don't do this, don't risk yourself for me," he pleaded.

"It's my turn to save you," was her simple reply.

Before he could object any further, he faded entirely, disappearing into the desert winds. With that, the hollowness in her chest made its return, only this time it was not without hope, not without the promise that what she had lost could be restored to her.

...

The landscape before her was vast and unending, suffocating heat seeping into the very earth beneath her. She persisted regardless, every imprint in the sand pushing her closer to her final goal.

BB-8 rolled along hastily beside her, making a few beeps and chirping noises now and again. Rey had spent a better part of the early morning talking to any locals who would humor her, asking about the history of the planet, the geography, anything that might give her a clue. When asked why she was so curious, she would simply say that she was a Skywalker, returned to carry on the family legacy. It got them all to trust her, or at least quell their suspicions, which was the only goal that Rey truly had with it anyway. After this was over, she was looking forward to never having to say it again.

The words "Rey Skywalker" felt so awkward and out of place in her mouth. She suspected Ben could feel it too, because every time she would say it he would simply roll his eyes from where he perpetually lingered in the background. They both knew that name didn't belong to anyone anymore, not really. It belonged to the Galaxy now, not any single person. Its place was in children's stories and in legends of faraway battles and triumphs.

Besides, it was not a name she would have chosen for herself anyway. She was Rey, just Rey, and for now, she would be that, and only that. At least, that was what she had told Finn. He had even asked her before she had left; that if now that it was all over she would claim a name for herself as he had (without a surname or a family of his own, he had taken Tico upon his marriage to Rose.) Her reply to him had been just the same.

However, if Rey were being perfectly honest with herself, there was a name that she did want to take, a family she would be proud to be apart of. It was not quite as legendary as Skywalker, yet no less noble in her opinion. But she would not take it, she refused, not until the man that also bore it was back at her side again.

"You shouldn't be here," the very same man spoke up unhelpfully, pulling her from her musings.

He kept a steady pace beside her, his feet leaving no imprints and his pale skin unaffected by the blistering suns.

The locals hadn't known very much, but she did hear whispers about a place where not even the most fiendish Jawa would set foot. Rey decided it would be as good a place to start as any.

"I hate sand," she replied, ignoring his previous statement. She said it simply because she could, because there was another living being there to bounce her thoughts off of. And furthermore, one she could admit anything to, even if he probably knew it already.

"All the more reason why you should be far away from this planet," he countered, eyes not leaving her as they moved. "You deserve better than this."

"I want to visit every green and beautiful place in the galaxy. I want to swim in oceans and walk through forests and plant gardens," she continued her thoughts absently.

"Then you should, Rey," his voice came out low and almost sad. "Don't let anything hold you back, least of all me."

She could tell he wasn't quite picking up on what she truly pictured when she thought of all those things. He wanted her to be happy but had yet to stop and consider the fact that he was integral to that.

"I'll always be with you," he added, and with that, Rey felt something deep within her snap. Some dam broke and everything came pouring out.

"You don't understand, I want _you_ to take me to those places!" She stopped in her tracks and turned to him, voice raised. "I want _you_ to hold me at night and kiss me again and cook breakfast with me in the morning and spar for no other reason than we're bored! I want to start a family one day," she continued to yell, both to him and to the very sky itself. All Ben could do was listen in numb shock, taken back by the sudden outburst.

"I want to spend my life with you, Ben Solo," her voice finally began to taper off, the intensity that once burned fading to nearly a whisper. "I want to spend it with _you_, not with your ghost."

The next few moments were ruled by silence, both parties not daring to speak as they held each other's gaze. She watched his features shift from surprise and confusion to realization and comprehension. He _finally_ understood. He understood why she wouldn't simply accept the fate that had been lain before her, why she would risk anything to get him back. She was tired of being alone and fractured, she was tired of simply settling for the hand she had been dealt. She wanted more, she wanted a better future than this, and she wanted it with him. A small involuntary echo slipped through the bond, telling her in that moment he wanted it too, he longed for it as she did. He wanted to spend his life beside her, not as a ghost that haunted her.

Abruptly, BB-8 made a whirling noise, breaking them both from their reverie. Ben looked down at the small and eager droid at their feet and glared.

"We were having a moment here," he snapped.

BB-8 retorted a few beeps of offense, his unmoving and inanimate features almost giving off the impression that he was returning the glower. Rey could not stop the smile that spread across her face. With that she began to walk again, leaving them both locked in their little stare-off. It felt good to smile.

One of them must have blinked first, because eventually, they caught up, falling back into pace beside her. They lapsed into a small bout of silence, Ben fidgeting awkwardly as he moved along just behind her. She could tell their exchange was still sinking in and that he was struggling to find any words to say after such a revelation.

Finally, he did find words, but it was not the deeply buried, sincere ones he wanted to say. No, he would save those for later. For when he was truly there with her and able to hold her as he spoke them.

"I still don't understand why you had to bring him," Ben eventually grumbled, giving the ball-shaped droid one last sour look. "And besides, you technically stole him."

"First off, I _borrowed_ him," she clarified defensively, earning a small smirk from Ben.

_Oh, how he loved to push her buttons. _

"And secondly, I needed his access to the Resistance database not only to chart the course but also to navigate," she admitted, "I don't know this planet."

"I do. Luke took me here once when I was a Padawan," Ben informed offhandedly, squinting his eyes as he surveyed the surrounding landscape.

"Well, I couldn't exactly ask you two days ago, now could I?" She gave him a pointed look.

"Fair point," he conceded with an incline of his head.

"Besides, you should be nice to him, he's part of the reason we met," Rey reminded almost playfully, nodding towards the droid. "Do you remember?"

Ben didn't answer at first, steps slowing a bit. It felt like a lifetime ago. For the both of them.

"Of course I do," he spoke after a beat, voice low and quiet. He swallowed hard, his eyes once again falling to the innumerable sands below them.

"I'm glad we did, even if the circumstances weren't ideal," she added after a moment. "You know that, right?"

"I'm glad I met you too, but bond or not, I can't imagine why someone like you would ever be happy they met someone like me," he shook his head.

She came to a dead stop once again and whirled around to face him.

She knew that if she kept this up it would take forever to get to their destination, but she refused to allow this to go unsaid.

"I don't regret it because I knew that underneath all that pain, darkness and anger, there was a good man," she stated with unflinching conviction, leaning a little closer as she spoke. "A kind man. A man that would risk anything for those he loved, even his own—" she stopped short, a sudden rush of emotions and memories flooding her mind and bringing tears to her eyes.

It hit her all at once, as it always seemed to. The way he had gone slack and fell limply, the way she could feel his life force ebb away, even as she tried desperately to hold onto him. Even though he was there in front of her, the memory still sent an unbearable ache right through her chest.

"Oh," was the only sound that came out of his mouth, that single syllable somehow carrying a plethora of emotions. "I'm sorry," he added after a beat. She wasn't sure what specifically he was apologizing for, but she had a feeling it was more than just one thing.

She felt the sting of tears as they filled her eyes and began to trail down her cheek. Her vision blurred and her voice came out broken as she spoke. "You shouldn't have done that," she said, arms unconsciously coming up to curl around herself. "You shouldn't have. Not for me."

He looked down at her sadly and honestly, his head tilted to the side.

"I'd do it again," he told her, reaching up to cup the side of her face.

His touch was warm and gentle and Rey couldn't help the way she leaned into it, eyes drifting shut.

However, her brain quickly caught up with itself and they snapped back open, wide with shock. He wasn't supposed to be temporal. Ben seemed to be equally as surprised, body frozen and eyes fixed on the spot were skin met skin, as if afraid to move.

A moment more and the reassuring pressure vanished, his form once again intangible. Ben drew his hand back after that, looking at it with both hope and astonishment.

"You're getting closer," he informed, a genuine smile breaking across his face.

With a new wave of determination, Rey pushed on, wading through the sands as the gentle tug of the Force urged her along.

...

It didn't take her long to find it, and when she did there was certainly no mistaking it. She could feel the very gateways that lay hidden there and even see them in her mind's eye. They were like doors, yet alive and pulsing with energy, just waiting to be unlocked.

Ben had reluctantly vanished the moment she had drawn close, leaving only her and BB-8. She looked at the small droid next to her and crouched down, knowing that where she was going he could not follow. With a gentle pat on the head, she instructed him to go back to the Falcon. He made a few sad chirping noises but agreed nonetheless.

With that, Rey stood and steeled herself for what she was about to do. She drew in a deep breath and reached out, both physically and within the Force. Power flowed at her fingertips and slowly she turned the key, unlocking the door that her future lay behind.

What followed was a blur of confusion and running, her eyes beholding wonders and horrors that even she had not thought possible. By the time it was over, Rey was battered and bruised and felt as though she'd been through another war. But it was all worth it as she sprinted toward that ancient portal, Ben Solo finally by her side. A moment more and they both hurled themselves through, Rey holding onto him so tightly and refusing to let go. She didn't even know if he could pass through as she had, but he was there and she had found him and by the blood of Jakku she was not going to take no for an answer.

She felt it the moment they passed through, the dimensional door snapping shut behind them. Ungraciously, they both tumbled onto the cooling sands, the moon now high in the clear Tatooine sky. Rey was back at her feet in an instant and Ben was not far behind.

He turned to face her, chest still heaving from the exertion. She simply looked at him for a moment, holding her breath despite the fact her lungs screamed for air. She took a few small steps closer and reached her hand out towards him. She needed to know he was truly there, she needed to know it had worked. Slowly, her hand inched closer, expectation and fear and anxiety and joy building within her.

Her fingertips were mere centimeters from him when he took her hand with his and brought it the rest of the way, flattening her palm solidly against his chest. The sudden warmth and the reaffirming pressure made her gasp a little, her fears that it was all an illusion melting away in an instant.

A smile burst across her face and he wasted no time as he pulled her into his arms, lifting her up and spinning her around. The clear night sky blurred above her and a laugh bubbled up from her throat, escaping her lips.

Caught up in the exhilaration of the moment, Ben lost his footing and stumbled, falling flat onto the powdery earth. Rey landed on top of him with an "_oof_," his chest and his shoulders now shaking with the same triumphant bliss hers had. Unfazed, they both just laughed together. They smiled and laughed and reveled in their newfound unity.

Once their half-delirious mirth began to die down, Ben sat up, pulling her more fully into his arms. She smiled softly and genuinely, his features lit by the pale moonlight. Gently, her hands found their way to his face, tracing the soft lines and the curves of his jaw as they had that fateful day not so long ago.

He looked at her almost questioningly and she nodded slowly, lightly nudging his nose with her own. Taking the cue, he bridged the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers, first softly, then eagerly, an explosion of colors bursting behind her eyes. The Force hummed all around them and through them, basking in its unbridled balance. She pulled him closer (if that were possible) and his arms wholly encircled her as the kiss stretched on and deepened.

After an undefinable amount of time, it finally came to an end, if only because neither of them could stop the smiles that engulfed their features. Their grins were gleeful and giddy and maybe even a bit goofy as they both sat entangled in the sand, their foreheads pressed together.

Rey wasn't sure exactly how long they stayed like that, but at one point or another, they both made the conscious decision to get up and start walking. The rush of emotions and adrenaline had begun to wear off, leaving room for the fatigue and exhaustion to creep in. By the time they made it back, their feet were heavy and grew heavier with every step. The moon had crept just a little bit closer to the horizon, beginning the treacherous descent so it's binary counterparts could rise.

Tired, yet at peace, Rey of Jakku and Ben Solo stumbled into the small and quiet hut, neither of them truly able to muster enough energy to care that there was only one tiny bed nestled in the corner. They probably wouldn't have cared anyway, but now both were too exhausted to even attempt to make any pretense about it. They just kicked off their shoes and shed whatever excess gear or articles they happened to have, not even bothering to hunt up sleep appropriate clothing.

Ben crawled in first and pressed his back up against the wall, allowing as much room for her as his broad form would permit (which honestly wasn't much, but Rey couldn't bring herself to care). She followed suit and climbed in next to him, extinguishing the light and pulling the thin cotton blanket over the both of them.

After that she nestled in, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest, listening to the steady and anchoring thrum of his heart. In the darkness, his hand sought out hers, interlocking just as his other one found her hair, fingers gently threading through the free-flowing strands. A content kind of sigh escaped Rey's throat, the tension and the grief she had been carrying melting away with every steady rise and fall of Ben's chest.

She closed her eyes, allowing sleep to overcome her, knowing that in that moment she was truly happy. Knowing that it was all over and he was still with her. Knowing that she would wake up to those warm eyes and the same smile that was still etched so deeply into her mind. Knowing that she would wake up to it every day for the rest of her life, and that her future was no longer the bleak and lifeless husk she had always imagined for herself. Knowing that tomorrow she would leave this barren planet and never have to set foot in another desert again.

Yet, in that instant, she didn't care. She didn't care about the endless sands that lay outside or how hauntingly familiar they were. It didn't matter because Rey of Jakku had Ben Solo, and she knew she could face a thousand deserts, so long as she had his hand to clasp.

She knew she would never be alone again, and neither would he for that matter.


End file.
